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Marrage Survival Guide

How to have better sex.

It is perhaps a shame that while we live in one of the most advanced cultures in the world and yet know so little about how to make each other happy in that most human of all endeavors, sex. With a few small additions to your sexual vocabulary you can break out of boredom and lead happier, more satisfying sex lives. Here in this section we'll look at four important additions to one's sex life: positions, first timers questions, time, and location.

Be careful in experimenting with the positions you try out - go ahead with it only if both you and your partner feel comfortable with them.

In this section we will discuss the various "commonly" used sexual positions.

Man on top

Everybody starts out in this so-called "missionary position": man on top, woman on the bottom, face-to-face. It's where we were when most of us lost our virginity. This position gets a lot of bad press these days because it's "old-fashioned," or perhaps because it's "patriarchal."

Actually, there's nothing wrong with this position; it affords excellent support for thrusting, close intimate contact between lovers, and is an ideal position for conception. The woman may lie with her legs spread wide and to the sides, or may draw them up to her chest. In either position, the man cannot reach her vulva for manual stimulation although in the first he can reach her breasts.

Woman on top

This position is highly recommended in the few "how to lose your virginity" manuals still lying around, mostly because it allows the woman to fully control the speed at which sex occurs. There are several different positions classified as "woman on top." The most common is that she straddles his hips, taking his penis inside her, and then lies atop him, either with her legs bent or stretched out. She may also choose to just sit straight up atop him, sliding up and down; this position is both visually stimulating for the man and allows him to play with her breasts freely.

Occassionally in adult movies one may see this position done with the woman facing away from her partner. While the sensations giving to both partners in this position are very different and may be very stimulating, most people feel the loss of intimacy involved is not worth the difference.

Sitting

This position is for sex in slow motion; the angles are all wrong for any sort of vigorous thrusting. The man sits in a chair or cross-legged on the floor while the woman sits astride him, usually face-to-face although it can work equally well if she faces away.

This position is good for caressing and intimacy. Some people recommend rocking chairs for this position.

Standing

Reminiscent of "quickies" and illicit sex in alleyways, standing is actually one of the more complicated positions to achieve, at least face-to-face. Insertion can be difficult; standing, the vagina is not tilted forward for easy access. Since women are on average shorter than their male partners this position may require a short footstool or convenient staircase step to make it possible. At any rate, someone may want a friendly wall to hold both of them up during this act.Another variant of standing is similar to the third one in man- on-top; the woman faces the wall or bookcase or whatever she's using to hold herself up and the man penetrates her vagina from behind. This position is considerably easier than face-to-face standing, and many people like it for it's "naughty" or "illicit" connotations.

Side-by-Side

These positions all mirror the "on top" positions, except that the partners now lie on their sides on the bed. They can be achieved face-to-face, at an angle or from behind. The one difficulty with this position face-to-face is that someone has to rest their leg atop their partners; after only a few minutes this sometimes causes cramping and pain.

Done when the woman faces away from the man, it can be slow, relaxing; one can almost fall asleep comfortably like this. In this position, it is known as "spooning." (The term applies mostly to the act of sleeping in that position, not necessarily the act of sex.)

Rear-entry

Although several positions already described can also be covered under this term, most people use this term to describe the position in which the woman kneels on her hands and knees while the man enters her from behind.

Some people strongly dislike this position because of the lack of intimacy and the suggestion of male "dominance"; others like it for the freedom and strength that can be employed during the act of intercourse. The term "doggy style" has been employed to describe this position in the past, although this descriptive is inaccurate at best.Related site.